Sarcasm Quote

1. If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.
2. Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.
3. I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.
4. He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t
5. He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
6. If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
7. I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
8. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
9. Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
10. Someone who thinks logically, provides a nice contrast to the real world.
11. I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.
12. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
13. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
14. Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
15. The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.
16. I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.We used to write essays like: What I’m going to be if I grow up.
17. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
18. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
19. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
20. A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.
21. Outside of a dog, a book is probably man’s best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
22. Those who cast the votes decide nothing. Those who count the votes decide everything.
23. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.leed.
24. You always do me a favor, when you shut up!
25. If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, its because you’re both heading in the same direction
26. You go girl! And don’t come back.
27. if you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever
28. Your passport looks like some horror-booth application.
29. You sound better with your mouth closed.
30. Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.
31. Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage
32. Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victems he intends to eat until he eats them.
33. A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
34. The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually beomes a cat.
35. When ideas fail, words come in very handy
36. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me
37. If at first you don't succeed, try something easier
38. I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
39. Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
40. If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed.
41. If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.