Saturday, December 25, 2010

Philosoraptor











http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/philosoraptor

Interesting pIcture









Taken from http://www.killmydaynow.com/

Saturday, November 27, 2010

STFU



Normally I would avoid using foul language in my blog, but this one is just another example for exception of the rules.

Taken from lolsnaps.com

Friday, November 12, 2010

114 LOL Deep Thoughts And Point To Ponder

  1. After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
  2. And whose cruel idea was it to put an “S” in the word “Lisp”?
  3. Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because it’s much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?
  4. Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
  5. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they get back too?
  6. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
  7. Did Washington just flash a quarter for his ID?
  8. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
  9. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4′s”?
  10. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
  11. Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?
  12. Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
  13. How can there be self-help groups?
  14. How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
  15. How do you tell if you run out of invisible ink?
  16. How is it possible to have a civil war?
  17. How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
  18. “I am ” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do ” is the longest sentence?
  19. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  20. If God dropped acid, would he see people?
  21. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
  22. If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him….Is he still wrong?
  23. If a mime is arrested do they tell him he has the right to talk?
  24. If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?
  25. If a parsley farmer is sued do they garnish his wages?
  26. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
  27. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
  28. If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
  29. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
  30. If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
  31. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
  32. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  33. If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?
  34. If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn’t everyone just move 10 miles away?
  35. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
  36. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
  37. If people from Poland are called “Poles,” why aren’t people from Holland called “Holes?”
  38. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, “Quit while you’re ahead”?
  39. If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide….is it considered a hostage situation?
  40. If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
  41. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
  42. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
  43. If the singular of GEESE is GOOSE, shouldn’t a Portuguese person be called Portugoose?
  44. If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
  45. If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don’t they wear a pair of bras?
  46. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
  47. If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
  48. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
  49. If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
  50. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
  51. Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
  52. Is it true that cannibals won’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
  53. Isn’t it scary that doctors call what they do “practice”?
  54. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
  55. What do chickens think we taste like?
  56. What do people in China call their good plates?
  57. What do you call a male ladybug?
  58. What hair color do they put on the driver’s license of a bald man?
  59. What happened to the first 6 “ups”?
  60. What happens when none of your bees wax?
  61. What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
  62. What is the protocol if the package says, “Open somewhere else”?
  63. What is the speed of dark?
  64. What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
  65. What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?
  66. What’s another word for synonym?
  67. When cheese gets it’s picture taken, what does it say?
  68. When dog food tastes new and improved, who tested it?
  69. When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?
  70. When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
  71. When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?
  72. When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?
  73. When you’re sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
  74. When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
  75. Where are Preparations A through G?
  76. Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?
  77. Which is the other side of the street?
  78. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
  79. Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor and planes don’t have a row 13, but book publishers aren’t afraid to have a Chapter 11?
  80. Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
  81. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
  82. Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
  83. Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
  84. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It’s just stale bread to begin with.
  85. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
  86. Why do psychics have to ask your name?
  87. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they worried someone will clean them?
  88. Why do they put Braille on the drive thru bank machines?
  89. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . become Pen Pals to these men ?
  90. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
  91. Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
  92. Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
  93. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
  94. Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn’t they be wearing night gowns?
  95. Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?
  96. Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?
  97. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  98. Why don’t they call mustaches “mouthbrows?”
  99. Why don’t tomb, comb, and bomb sound alike?
  100. Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
  101. Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word?
  102. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
  103. Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
  104. Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
  105. Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
  106. Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the radio?
  107. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
  108. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
  109. Why is the symbol for anarchy always written the same way?
  110. Why isn’t 11 pronounced onety one?
  111. Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
  112. Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
  113. Why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up a project, I end it?
  114. Would a wingless fly be called a walk?

16 Things It Took Me 40 Years To Learn

1. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time.
2. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
3. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
4. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
5. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.

6. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
7. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
8. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
9. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
10. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, he WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
11. You should not confuse your career with your life.
12. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
13. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
14. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
15. Your friends love you, anyway.
16. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

Taken from http://www.blippitt.com/16-things-it-took-me-40-years-to-learn

25 Pieces Of Middle Aged Wisdom

  1. If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
  2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.
  3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  4. It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.
  5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
  7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
  8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
  9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
  10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
  11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
  12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good
  13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
  14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
  15. No one has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
  16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
  17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
  18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
  19. Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
  20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
  21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
  22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
  23. When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.
  24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
  25. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.

52 Epic Funny Quotes

1. No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats–approximately one billion Chinese couldn’t care less.
— Lazlo’s Chinese Relativity Axiom
2. Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1. Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2. Advising the President. 3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
— David Letterman
3. Of all the radio stations in Chicago…we’re one of them.
— Slogan of 105.9, the classic rock radio station in Chicago
4. I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
— A Bit of Fry and Laurie
5. Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
— Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See
6. A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what’s left of your unit.
— In the August 1993 issue, page 9, of PS magazine, the Army’s magazine of preventive maintenance 44.
7. It’s like being ‘Xena, Warrior Princess.’
— Madeleine Albright, giving her stock response when asked what it’s like to be a female secretary of state
8. I think that the team that wins game five will win the series. Unless we lose game five.
— Charles Barkley
9. My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character.
— Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself “the Charles Barkley of figure skating”
10. Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
— Dave Barry
11. If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there are men on base.
— Dave Barry
12. You mean we’re not gonna score? We came all this way and we’re not gonna score? It’s not fair. We never score. I’ll bet this old dude scored, like, a million times. But we never score.
— Beavis, from Beavis and Butthead Do America
13. When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
— Yogi Berra
14. Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of another.
— Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary
15. Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.
— Ashleigh Brilliant
16. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
— Ashleigh Brilliant
17. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
— A. Whitney Brown
18. “I know you feel betrayed.”
“Well, yes, that is one of the unpleasant side effects of betrayal.”
19. Delta: It always helps if you wear a tiara.
Rosie: While shellacing?
Delta: While doing anything.
— Delta Burke, On the Rosie O’Donnell Show
20. [upon discovering their TV has been stolen} This sucks more than anything has ever sucked before.
— Butthead, from Beavis and Butthead Do America
21. Calvin: People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
Hobbes: Isn’t your pants’ zipper supposed to be in the front?
— Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes
22. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
— George Carlin
23. I’ve always enjoyed being told what to think. Of course I do the opposite of whatever is requested of me, but I find the attempted intrusion flirtatious.
— Lisa Carver
24. I like sweet little soft bunnies for girls, kind of dumb, giggly. Maybe a little drunk. Girls who smell good and do what I say.
— Lisa Carver
25. Caught masturbating on my wedding day — how low class!
— Lisa Carver
26. There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
— Dick Cavett, mocking the TV-violence debate
27. When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, “Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?”
— Quentin Crisp
28. The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad.
— Salvador Dali
29. Oh, well, that’s the Lord’s Work. Name-calling.
— Ellen Degeneres, On being told that Jerry Falwell referred to her as Ellen Degenerate
30. Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, “I predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease”. Disraeli replied, “That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.”
31. I promise the next time we get attacked by monkeys on an escalator, I will save you.
— Ben from Felicity
32. With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three thousand miles closer to globular cluster M13 in the constellation Hercules, and still there are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no such thing as progress.
— Ransom K. Ferm
33. Oh my God, I’m my father! I’ve been trying so hard not to be my mother that I didn’t see this coming.
— Rachel from Friends
34. There’s only one thing better than getting what you want, and that’s getting what you want and pissing someone else off at the same time.
— Bender on Futurama
35. The obvious mathematical breakthrough would be development of an easy way to factor large prime numbers.
— Bill Gates from The Road Ahead, p. 265.
36. What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.
— Richard Harkness, The New York Times, 1960
37. A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
— William James
38. Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again.
— F. P. Jones
39. Man’s greatest joy is to slay his enemy, plunder his riches, ride his steeds, see the tears of his loved ones and embrace his women.
— Genghis Khan
40. Time’s fun when you’re having flies.
— Kermit the Frog
41. The most important thing in the programming language is the name. A language will not succeed without a good name. I have recently invented a very good name and now I am looking for a suitable language.
— D. E. Knuth, 1967
42. I am sick unto death of obscure English towns that exist seemingly for the sole accommodation of these so-called limerick writers–and even sicker of their residents, all of whom suffer from physical deformities and spend their time dismembering relatives at fancy dress balls.
— Editor of the Limerick Times (Limerick, Ireland)
43. The O.J. Simpson (Civil Trial) Jury has the chance to send a clear message to the world, which is, ‘If you kill someone in L.A., you’re looking at a very stiff fine.’
— Bill Maher
44. The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus controls the “Four F’s”: 1. fighting; 2. fleeing; 3.feeding; and 4. mating.
— Psychology professor in neuropsychology intro course
45. I think that all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I’m certainly not! But I’m sick and tired of being told that I am!
— Monty Python
46. You coveteth my ice cream bar, but you cannot have it. I have had this ice cream bar since I was a child.
— Ren, from Ren and Stimpy
47. Son, you don’t have bad luck. Bad things happen to you because you’re a dumbass.
— That 70′s Show
48. I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.
— Hunter S. Thompson
49. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
— Mark Twain
50. When choosing between two evils, I always take the one I haven’t tried before.
— Mae West
51. If triangles had a God, He’d have thr ee sides.
— Old Yiddish proverb
52. G: If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?
EB: Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area.
— Somewhere in No Man’s Land, BA4
Taken from http://www.blippitt.com/52-epic-funny-quotes

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Thoughts to Get You Through Almost Any Crisis

1. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
2. You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
3. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
4. Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
5. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
6. Sometimes too much drink is not enough.
7. The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
8. The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
9. Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
10. Things are more like they are today than they ever have been before.
11. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
12. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
13. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
14. I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
15. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
16. All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
17. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
18. One-seventh of you life is spent on Monday.
19. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
20. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
21. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
22. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
23. This is as bad as it can get, but don’t bet on it.
24. Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.
25. The trouble with life is, you’re halfway through it before you realize it’s a “do it yourself” thing.
Taken from http://www.blippitt.com/25-lol-thoughts-to-get-you-through-almost-any-crisis

Universal Truths about Life

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer’s browsing history if you die.
2. Nothing ticks me off more more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I promise I did not make any changes to.
14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? ), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a “stoop” from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
29. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
31. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my behind everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Unavoidable laws of nature

1. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.
2. Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
3. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
4. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
5. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
6. Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other.
7. When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
8. If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
9. There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
10. Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said there would be so many.
11. Keep your boss’s boss off your boss’s back. This is what I’m doing wrong.
12. Everything can be filed under “miscellaneous.”
13. Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
14. To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.
15. Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing.
16. Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
17. The last person that quit or was fired will be the one held responsible for everything that goes wrong – until the next person quits or is fired.
18. There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but there is always enough time to do it over.
19. The more pretentious a corporate name, the smaller the organization. (For instance, The Murphy Center for Codification of Human and Organizational Law, contrasted to IBM, GM, AT&T, etc.)
20. If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
21. You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
22. People are always available for work in the past tense.
23. If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
24. At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
25. When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
26. You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like.
27. No one gets sick on Wednesdays.
28. When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, “How would the Lone Ranger handle this?”
29. The longer the title, the less important the job.
30. Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives.
31. An “acceptable” level of employment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.
32. Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.
33. All vacations and holidays create problems, except for one’s own.
34. Success is just a matter of luck, just ask any failure.
35. If anything can go wrong, it will.
36. Nothing is ever as simple as it seems.
37. Everything takes longer than you expect.
38. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will do the most damage will go wrong first.
39. Left to themselves, all things go from bad to worse.
40. If you play with something long enough, you will surely break it.
41. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
42. If you see that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
43. Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
44. Mother Nature is a bitch.
45. It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so ingenious.
46. If a great deal of time has been expended seeking the answer to a problem with the only result being failure, the answer will be immediately obvious to the first unqualified person.
47. If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
48. Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
– Harvard’s Law
49. Never replicate a successful experiment.
– Fett’s Law
50. Research is what I’m doing when I don’t know what I’m doing.
– von Braun
51. It is not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.
– Phil White
52. In any decision situation, the amount of relevant information available is inversely proportional to the importance of the decision.
– Cooke’s Law
53. Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upwards from the floor-especially in the dark.
– Ross’s Law
54. The number of adjectives and verbs that are added to the description of a menu item is in inverse proportion to the quality of the dish.
– Calkin’s Law of Menu Language
55. Don’t force it; get a larger hammer.
– Anthony’s Law of Force
56. Any tool when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop.
– Anthony’s Law of the Workshop
57. Arnold’s Laws of Documentation:
(1) If it should exist, it doesn’t.
(2) If it does exist, it’s out of date.
(3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the first two laws.
58. Beifeld’s Principle:
The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases exponentially when he is already in the company of:
(1) a date,
(2) his wife,
(3) a better looking and richer male friend.
59. Bradley’s Bromide:
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee — that will do them in.
60. DeVries’s Dilemma:
If you hit two keys on the typewriter, the one you don’t want hits the paper.
61. Drew’s Law of Highway Biology:
The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front of your eyes.
62. Fifth Law of Applied Terror:
If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
Corollary: If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.
63. Finagle’s Third Law:
In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.
64. First Rule of History:
History doesn’t repeat itself — historians merely repeat each other.

Taken from http://www.blippitt.com/64-unavoidable-laws-of-nature

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Tribute to My laptop

20/10/2010

My laptop crash in front of me while I'm finishing my final project..
The song last played is Bonethug N Harmony - Weedsong..

All the years we been together, I loathed we reached the end.
I'm surprised how you remain calm collected and commanding,
with my non-stop abuse, all the tormenting just to pleased myself,

I remember that I had keep u up all week. I'm sorry I treated u like a machine,
But everyday I long for you, rushing just to touch and stare at you.

I want to thank you for all the information u share with me, u made me a lot wiser.
Gave me new knowledge every moment.

Without you I'm still just a fool..just a moron..just a loon..
But I want to say sorry because I haven't give u a name..
because I don't know what fits u perfectly,
My laptop, my precious

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Wo2 You2 Yi1 Zhi1 Xiao3 Mao2 Lv2 (I Have a Little Donkey)

wo3 you3 yi1 zhi1 xiao3 mao2 lv2 wo3 cong2 lai2 ye3 bu4 qi2
you3 yi1 tian1 wo3 xin1 xie2 lai2 chao2 qi2 zhe qu4 gan3 ji2
wo3 shou3 li3 na2 zhe xiao3 pi2 pian1 wo3 xin1 li3 zheng4 de2 yi4
bu4 zhi1 zen3 me hua1 la1 la1 la1 la1 wo3 shuai1 le yi1 shen1 ni2



ENGLISH TRANSLATION (by Jill Yeh, Little Panda Inc)
I have a little donkey I never ride it
One day all of a sudden I had an idea to ride it to the market
My hand held a little whip I felt so satisfied in my heart
Didn't know how ... hua-la-la-la-la I slipped and fell into some mud



Taken from http://www.earlylearning-chinese.com/songs.html#xiao-mao-lu-little-donkey-chinese

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

How the tax work..

A good math lesson:
by: David R. Kamerschen, Ph. D

Sometimes politicians, journalists and the liberal
left exclaim; "It's just a tax cut for the rich!" and
it is just accepted to be fact.

But what does that really mean?

Just in case you are not completely clear on this
issue, I hope the following will help. Please read
it carefully.

Let's put tax cuts in terms everyone can understand.

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for dinner
and the bill for all ten comes to $100.

If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go
something like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do.

The ten men ate dinner in the restaurant every day
and seemed quite happy with the arrangement,
until one day, the owner threw them a curve.

"Since you are all such good customers," he said,
"I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by
$20." Dinner for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we
pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected.
They would still eat for free. But what about the
other six men - the paying customers? How could
they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would
get his 'fair share?'

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if
they subtracted that from everybody's share, then
the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up
being paid to eat their meal.

So, the restaurant owner suggested that it would
be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the
same amount, and he proceeded to work out the
amounts each should pay.

And so:
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first
four continued to eat for free. But once outside the restaurant,
the men began to compare their savings.

"I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man. He
pointed to the tenth man," but he got $10!"

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only
saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times
more than me!"

"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why
should he get $10 back when I got only two?
The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison.
"We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits
the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for dinner,
so the nine sat down and ate without him. But when it
came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important.
They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the
bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is
how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the
most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for
being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they
might start eating overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat
friendlier.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph. D
Professor of Economics

40 RULES OF PROJECT MANAGEMENT


  1. Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn’t have to do it.
  2. You can con a sucker into committing to an impossible deadline, but you cannot con him into meeting it .
  3. At the heart of every large project is a small project trying to get out.
  4. A user will tell you anything you ask about, but nothing more.
  5. Of several possible interpretations of a communication, the least convenient is the correct one.
  6. What you don’t know hurts you.
  7. There’s never enough time to do it right first time but there’s always enough time to go back and do it again.
  8. The bitterness of poor quality lasts long after the sweetness of making a date is forgotten.
  9. I know that you believe that you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant.
  10. What is not on paper has not been said.
  11. A little risk management saves a lot of fan cleaning.
  12. If you can keep your head while all about you are losing theirs, you haven’t understood the plan.
  13. If at first you don’t succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
  14. There are no good project managers – only lucky ones.
  15. The more you plan the luckier you get.
  16. If everything is going exactly to plan, something somewhere is going massively wrong.
  17. A project is one small step for the project sponsor, one giant leap for the project manager.
  18. Good project management is not so much knowing what to do and when, as knowing what excuses to give and when.
  19. Everyone asks for a strong project manager – when they get them they don’t want them.
  20. Overtime is a figment of the na├»ve project manager’s imagination.
  21. Quantitative project management is for predicting cost and schedule overruns well in advance. Metrics are learned men’s excuses.
  22. For a project manager overruns are as certain as death and taxes.
  23. Some projects finish on time in spite of project management best practices.
  24. Fast – cheap – good – you can have any two.
  25. There is such a thing as an unrealistic timescale.
  26. The project would not have been started if the truth had been told about the cost and timescale.
  27. A two year project will take three years, a three year project will never finish.
  28. When the weight of the project paperwork equals the weight of the project itself, the project can be considered complete.
  29. A badly planned project will take three times longer than expected – a well planned project only twice as long as expected.
  30. Warning: dates in a calendar are closer than they appear to be.
  31. Anything that can be changed will be changed until there is no time left to change anything.
  32. There is no such thing as scope creep, only scope gallop.
  33. A project gets a year late one day at a time.
  34. If you’re 6 months late on a milestone due next week but really believe you can make it, you’re a project manager.
  35. No project has ever finished on time, within budget, to requirement – yours won’t be the first to.
  36. Managing IT people is like herding cats.
  37. If you don’t know how to do a task, start it, then ten people who know less than you will tell you how to do it.
  38. The person who says it will take the longest and cost the most is the only one with a clue how to do the job.
  39. The sooner you get behind schedule, the more time you have to make it up.
  40. The nice thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression

Friday, August 13, 2010

Fact or fiction

  1. The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles. 
  2. Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
  3. Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
  4. The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.
  5. American car horns beep in the tone of F.
  6. No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times.
  7. Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
  8. 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.
  9. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
  10. Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.
  11. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
  12. The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.
  13. A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.
  14. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class.
  15. Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
  16. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA."
  17. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
  18. The 57 on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of varieties of pickles the company
  19. once had.
  20. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
  21. Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
  22. The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer.
  23. Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
  24. Betsy Ross is the only real person to ever have been the head on a Pez dispenser.
  25. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
  26. Adolph Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.
  27. Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
  28. All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public.
  29. Walt Disney was afraid of mice.
  30. The sound of E.T walking was made by someone squishing her hands in jelly.
  31. Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.
  32. Pearls melt in vinegar.
  33. It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.
  34. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
  35. The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
  36. It is possible to lead a cow upstairs, but not downstairs.
  37. Average life span of a major league baseball: seven pitches.
  38. A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.
  39. The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.
  40. Richard Milhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name contains all the letters from the word "criminal." The second? William Jefferson Clinton

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Prison Break quote

  1. Be the change you want to see in the world.

  2. Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want to get

  3. I know how to do it, I just don't have the time to do it.

  4. Preparation will only take you so far. After that you got to take a few leaps of faith.

  5. Stop chasing me, cause whenever you get close I'll win everytime

  6. Rules are rules. And if we don't have them, we're savages

  7. I always said that cops are more crooked than criminals.

  8. This picture makes me look like some kinda sociopath

  9. If I'm going down for this little homicide, I ain't going alone. We're going together like traffic and weather!

  10. Tell you what, I'll go unlock the kids and make us all breakfast.

  11. Why do you want to be out of here so bad anyhow? The world's all different now..scary. They've got computer phones, boobies made out of silicon, you wouldn't know what to do.

  12. As my pappy used to say "Stand by, your glasses steady and drink to your comrade's eyes. Here's a toast to the dead already and hurrah for the next to die."



Taken from http://apps.facebook.com/prisonbreak/?page=quotes&qchar=332

Monday, July 26, 2010

Personality test

1. If given a choice, would u have the talent of invisibility or ability to fly?

2. If u have a house, would you consider a wall surrounding your house or not?

3. If u need to cross a river, how would you cross the river?

4. You are walking when u saw a tree with your favourite fruit. However there a wall between you and the tasty fruit. How difficult it is for u to reach the sweet juicy fruit?

Monday, July 5, 2010

House Quote

1. People choose the paths that grant them the greatest rewards for the least amount of effort

2. Perseverance does not equal worthiness

3. You can have all the faith you want in spirits, and the afterlife, and heaven and hell, but when it comes to this world, don't be an idiot. Cause you can tell me you put your faith in God to put you through the day, but when it comes time to cross the road, I know you look both ways

4. Ah, my birthday. Normally I'd put on a festive hat and celebrate the fact that the Earth has circled the Sun one more time; I really didn't think it was going to make it this year, but darn it if it wasn't the little planet that could all over again.

5. Like I always say, there's no "I" in "team". There is a "me", though, if you jumble it up.

6. take risks; sometimes patients die. But not taking risks causes more patients to die, so I guess my biggest problem is I've been cursed with the ability to do the math

7. Are you ... comparing me to God? I mean, that's great, but just so you know, I've never made a tree.

8. Nonconformity, right. I can't remember the last time I saw a 20-something kid with a tattoo of an Asian letter on his wrist. You are one wicked free thinker. You want to be a rebel? Stop being cool. Wear a pocket protector like he does and get a haircut. Like the Asian kids who don't leave the library for 20 hours stretches, they're the ones who don't care what you think. Sayonara.

9. The eyes can mislead, the smile can lie, but the shoes always tell the truth.

10, Humiliation comes in all kinds of packages. People finding out that your son's a perv, that's pretty high up there. People finding out that you'd rather let your son die than sign a piece of paper, where's that rank?

11. On average, drug addicts are stupid.

It's a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what. The weird thing about telling someone they're dying is it tends to focus their priorities. You find out what matters to them. What they're willing to die for. What they're willing to lie for.

12. If you can fake sincerity, you can fake pretty much anything.

13. You know how they say, "you can't live without love"? Well, oxygen is even more important.

14. Sebastian: "Every minute 4 people die of TB."
House: "Wow, how can you sleep at night?"
Sebastian: "There's people dying in Africa of a disease that we cured over 50 years ago ..."
House: "Yeah, I know. I saw the concert. Seriously, let's say you sleep six hours, that means every night you kill 1440 people. I guess you gotta get some sleep, but come on, if you'd stayed up another 10 minutes you could have saved 40 lives. Do you send notes to the families in the morning? That's gonna take at least ten minutes, so that's another 40 dead, another 40 notes... why don't you go wrack yourself with guilt in your own room?"

15. Do you notice how all the self-sacrificing women in history; Joan of Arc, Mother Theresa, can't think of any others; they all die alone. The men, on the other hand, get so much fuzz, it's crazy

16. Wilson: "If you have the money, then why did you need the loan?"
House: "I didn't. Just wanted to see if you would give it to me. I've been borrowing increasing amounts ever since you lent me forty dollars a year ago. A little experiment to see where you draw the line."
Wilson: "You're ... you're trying to...objectively measure how much I value our friendship?!"
House: "Hey, it's five grand. You've got nothing to be ashamed of."

17. House: "Gimme a reason to get out of this, and I'll tell you who started the rumor about you being a transsexual."
Cuddy: "There is no such rumor."
House: "There will be unless you get me out of this dinner."

Taken from

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Albert Einstein Quote Part II

1. Occurrences in this domain are beyond the reach of exact prediction because of the variety of factors in operation, not because of any lack of order in nature.

2. Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.

3. One strength of the communist system of the East is that it has some of the character of a religion and inspires the emotions of a religion.

4. Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.

5. Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person.

6. Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

7. Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.

8. Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.

9. People love chopping wood. In this activity one immediately sees results.

10. Perfection of means and confusion of ends seem to characterize our age.

11. Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity.

12. Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas.

13. Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

14. Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it.

15. Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.

16. Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.

17. Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.

18. Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal.

19. The attempt to combine wisdom and power has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.

20. The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life. Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.

21. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

22. The distinction between the past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.

23. The environment is everything that isn't me.

24. The faster you go, the shorter you are.

25. The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.

26. The gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge.

27. The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.

28. The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax.

29. The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than to rule.

30. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.

31. The man of science is a poor philosopher.

32. The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind.

33. The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.

34. The only real valuable thing is intuition.

35. The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.

36. The only source of knowledge is experience.

37. The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

38. The process of scientific discovery is, in effect, a continual flight from wonder.

39. The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.

40. The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.

41. The road to perdition has ever been accompanied by lip service to an ideal.

42. The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

43. The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.

44. The value of a man should be seen in what he gives and not in what he is able to receive.

45. The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking.

46. The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

47. There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.

48. There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.

49. There could be no fairer destiny for any physical theory than that it should point the way to a more comprehensive theory in which it lives on as a limiting case.

50. There is no logical way to the discovery of these elemental laws. There is only the way of intuition, which is helped by a feeling for the order lying behind the appearance.

51. To raise new questions, new possibilities, to regard old problems from a new angle, requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science.

52. To the Master's honor all must turn, each in its track, without a sound, forever tracing Newton's ground.

53. Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.

54. True art is characterized by an irresistible urge in the creative artist.

55. True religion is real living; living with all one's soul, with all one's goodness and righteousness.

56. Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.

57. We cannot despair of humanity, since we ourselves are human beings.

58. We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if mankind is to survive.

59. We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.

60. We still do not know one thousandth of one percent of what nature has revealed to us.

61. Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.

62. When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

63. Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.

64. You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

65. You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war.

66. You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.

Albert Einstein Quote Part I

1. A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be.

2. A perfection of means, and confusion of aims, seems to be our main problem.

3. A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.

4. A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

5. All that is valuable in human society depends upon the opportunity for development accorded the individual.

6. All these primary impulses, not easily described in words, are the springs of man's actions.

7. An empty stomach is not a good political adviser.

8. Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.

9. Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.

10. Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

11. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.

12. Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either.

13. As far as I'm concerned, I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue.

14. As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.

15. Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.

16. Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

17. Concern for man and his fate must always form the chief interest of all technical endeavors. Never forget this in the midst of your diagrams and equations.

18. Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems, in my opinion, to characterize our age.

19. Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.

20. Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.

21. Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolized.

22. Everything should be as simple as it is, but not simpler.

23. Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted.

24. Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.

25. Force always attracts men of low morality.

26. God may be subtle, but he isn't plain mean.

27. Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.

28. Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

29. He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.

30. He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice.

31. Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism - how passionately I hate them!

32. Human beings must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it.

33. I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination.

34. I am not only a pacifist but a militant pacifist. I am willing to fight for peace. Nothing will end war unless the people themselves refuse to go to war.

35. I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.

36. I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.

37. I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

38. I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.

39. I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.

40. I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right.

41. I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.

42. I want to know all Gods thoughts; all the rest are just details.

43. If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

44. If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.

45. If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

46. If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.

47. If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.

48. Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions.

49. In matters of truth and justice, there is no difference between large and small problems, for issues concerning the treatment of people are all the same.

50. In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep, one must above all be a sheep oneself.

51. Information is not knowledge.

52. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

53. Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death.

54. Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them.

55. Isn't it strange that I who have written only unpopular books should be such a popular fellow?

56. It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.


57. It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.

58. It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

59. It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder.

60. It is only to the individual that a soul is given.

61. It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely.

62. It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge.

63. It should be possible to explain the laws of physics to a barmaid.

64. It stands to the everlasting credit of science that by acting on the human mind it has overcome man's insecurity before himself and before nature.

65. It was the experience of mystery - even if mixed with fear - that engendered religion.

66. It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer.

67. Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.

68. Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.

69. Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.

70. Love is a better teacher than duty.

71. Most people say that is it is the intellect which makes a great scientist. They are wrong: it is character.
72. My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

73. Never do anything against conscience even if the state demands it.

74. Never lose a holy curiosity.

75. No amount of experimentation can ever prove me right; a single experiment can prove me wrong.

76. No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.

Parental Guideline