Saturday, March 26, 2011


  1. Single (adjective) - A man who makes jokes about women in the kitchen.
  2. Internet (noun) - The reason you are failing high school.
  3. Thesaurus (noun) - The book that is also a dinosaur
  4. Study (verb) - The act of texting, eating and watching TV with an open textbook nearby.
  5. Friend (noun) - One of the many strangers on Facebook.
  6. Tomorrow (noun) - The best time to do everything you had planned for today.
  7. No offense (phrase) - A phrase used to introduce a highly offensive comment
  8. Twitter (noun) - The social network that your parents and close relatives haven't ruined for you yet.
  9. Haha (noun) - This conversation is now over.
  10. Sarcasm (noun) - The brain's natural defense against the less intelligent.
  11. Gullible (adjective) - A commonly used word that is not found in the dictionary.
  12. Oh, it was nothing (phrase) - It took me 40 hours, and if you say anything bad I will honestly punch your face off.
  13. Keychain (noun) - A ring invented so that you can lose all of your keys at once.
  14. Teacher (noun) - A person who helps you solve problems you'd never have without them.
  15. Teacher (noun) - An overeducated babysitter
  16. Teacher (noun) - One who kills your love of books, math and science.
  17. Synonym (noun) - A word you use when you can't figure out how to spell the other one.
  18. Birthday (noun) - The one day per year that people you never talk to on Facebook post on your wall.
  19. Happy Birthday (phrase) - I don't know you, but we're Facebook friends
  20. Brand name (noun) - Paying more for something so that others know you're paying more for something.
  21. Imagination (noun) - The ability to turn anything into a rocketship; usually lost at puberty.
  22. I'm not book smart, I'm street smart (phrase) - I'm not real smart, I'm imaginary smart.
  23. Heels (noun) - Shoes invented by men to make running away harder.
  24. I'm almost there (phrase) - I'm still doing my hair and haven't left yet.
  25. Yellow light (noun) - Drive faster.
  26. B.C. (abbreviation) - Before Computers.
  27. Etc. (adverb) - Used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
  28. You look good (phrase) - You used to be fat.
  29. Single and loving it (phrase) - Desperate and trying it hide it.
  30. Strangers (noun) - The only ones with decent candy.
  31. Final (noun) - A test designed by teachers to lower self esteem.
  32. Ignorant (adjective) - Anyone who disagrees with you.
  33. Lol (abbreviation) - I have nothing else to say.
  34. Parents (noun) - People who blame innocent children for their mistakes and take credit for their successes.
  35. Just saying (phrase) - A way to make insults sound like observations.
  36. Procrastination (noun) - The art of screwing oneself over.
  37. Nothing (noun) - Obviously something, just keep asking.
  38. Love (noun) - A word you put between "I" and "you" when you want something.
  39. Love (noun) - Nature's way of tricking people into reproducing.
  40. Nerd (noun) - The person you pick on in high school and wind up working for as an adult.
  41. Valentine's Day (noun) - A day specifically designed to make single people feel bad about themselves.
  42. I got a new phone and lost all my numbers (phrase) - I deleted your number because I hate you.
  43. Money can't buy happiness (phrase) - A saying created by poor people to help curb their jealousy of the rich.
  44. Flabbergasted (adjective) - The shock you experience when you realize how fat you've gotten.
  45. Let's hang out sometime (phrase) - I feel bad that we don't talk anymore, so I hope saying this makes me feel better, even though we both know it isn't going to happen.
  46. Alcohol (noun) - A drink that makes bad decisions look good.
  47. We can still be friends (phrase) - This is going to be really awkward and I don't want to hang out with you ever again.
  48. Texting (verb) - What one pretends to do in awkward situations.
  49. Children (noun) - A source of legal slave labor.
  50. You're a really nice guy (phrase) - I will never ever date you.
  51. Good try (phrase) - You just failed, but I'm trying to be nice.
  52. Remote control (noun) - An adhesive force between your butt and the sofa.
  53. What's up? (phrase) - I don't care about what you have to say; just ask me the same thing back so I can talk about myself.
  54. Mother-in-law (noun): Someone who has an irrational hatred for you.
  55. Woman (noun) - Someone to make you sandwiches.
  56. Happiness (noun) - When the waitress brings you your food.
Taken from

Monday, March 14, 2011

Frank Sinatra - Something Stupid

I know I stand in line until you think you have the time
To spend an evening with me
And if we go someplace to dance, I know that there's a chance
You won't be leaving with me
And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place and have a drink or two
And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like "I love you"

I can see it in your eyes
That you despise the same old lies you heard the night before
And though it's just a line to you, for me it's true
And never seemed so right before

I practice every day to find some clever lines to say
To make the meaning come through
But then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late and I'm alone with you
The time is right, your perfume fills my head, the stars get red and, oh, the night's so blue
And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like "I love you"

The time is right, your perfume fills my head, the stars get red and, oh, the night's so blue
And then I go and spoil it all by sayin' something stupid like "I love you"

I love you
I love you