I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire

Happy one year anniversary..

it may not look much to the outsider, but its have tremendous effect in my life.

I can't believe it been one year.

I wonder what should I do to celebrate this special occasion?

P/S : I could stop, but the real question is should I stop?

you are my sunshine

Its funny that you met me at the strangest time of my life.

I never thought that it could be like this.

I don't know what the future holds.

But I really hope that you will be there.

I just wish that you would stop making assumption that you are bothering me..

And no, I'm not tired..and please stop saying that you will no longer bother me..

P/S : you may not realize this, but I'm breaking so many rules for you..

killing me softly

The hardest part of saying goodbye is having to do it again every single day.

There are a lot of girls in front of my eyes, but there only one that matter.

All these emotion make me want to do something stupid. Right now I'm thinking about dying my hair.

I need to move on, badly. But how could I help if the heart still pining for the past.

I remember there was a time she ask me, "how many girl do I say goodnight to everyday?" Told her I didn't count. It true that I didn't count because there only 1 girl that I say goodnight to.

p/s: I been going out with 6 different girls for past month. Every time I close eyes, I can only see you and start imagining what it like to be with you.

Heartache by the number

If you really want me in your life, you would not told me 2 month later.
If you really want me, you would told me on January.
If you really want me, you would not told me after you engaged to someone else.

It clearly that you made your decision.
It is really heartache for me, but at least now I can move on..(hopefully)

Yes I got heartache by the number, a love that I can't win but the day that I stop counting its the day my world would end.


P/S : If by chance you didn't get marry this year end. I will take that as sign from God that you are belong to me.

Woke Up This Morning

throughout this few months had made me realize one thing.
it is very difficult to be a teacher.

and I'm not a teacher.
I like the idea of teaching someone something.
but to do it as your career throughout the years. Now that a real challenge.

now I have new found respect to teacher around the world.
hence, I would like to propose a toast to teachers around the world.
without you, I would be end-up dead or some dirtbag doing something stupid.

p/s : I would like to take this moment to say thank to Mr Lee Yong Guo (sorry if I pronounce your name wrong) for teaching me math and become a huge contributor to my future. Seriously, before this I don't even believe in myself, you made me who I am today. It true what Pooh say (yes, Winnie the Pooh) , sometimes the little thing will take up the biggest place in your heart. And it true what they say "those who can do, those who can't teach"

Can you hear the trumpet whispering?

I wish life is easy, but its not.

The important lesson I learned for today, sometimes you need to take down your pride and start again from bottom.

What done is done, now let focus on brighter future. We can't control the past, but we can control the future. The best way to predict the future is to create them.

This remind me of Prison Break series(on Session 3 if I'm not mistaken). When they being throw into Panama Prison. There are 2 people with 2 different approach, first is the warden (forgot his name, bellick maybe). The warden try to act tough and like he running the show, but instead get his ass kick and mugged. Left unconscious almost naked in the middle of field. Long story short, he having difficulty for his life for next few week.

On the other hand, there T-Beg, veteran inmate, didn't show his fang when start get in the prison. We all know his story during the first prison. But in Panama, he don't let that bother him, it is almost like he a new inmate. He start all nice and charming to the big boss in Panama. Oh, how he act and pretend. If only I remember this earlier. Starting from bottom, slowly moving up the ladder.

Maybe that my mistake, I'm expecting some kind of authority because of my history. I should be more wiser, my history and background don't determine how people should act toward me. I should use my history and background as my stepping stone. As lesson learnt so that I make better decision.

It ok, it alright. I learned my mistake. Let today be a lesson that I will never forget. Remember to be humble and helpful to other people. Just do to other what you expect other do to you.

The future road will be dark and full of terror. But we will walk slowly as success is beyond that.

P/S : Let try our best not to kiss ass. let our work speak for our self.

Just throw me under the bus

By the end of this month I will complete my first project. Not really my own project.

Just finishing up someone else project.

I love the complexity of the project. (somehow, my mentor had inspired me right here)

On very high level, it very simple.

"To teach user how to use some product."

Only small little problem, I don't know the product completely. (seems like there more)

And I need to teach the whole organization. Yup, all 4 thousands of them.

In whole branches. I don't even know what is the department beside me.
(Not to mention I have a not motivated subordinate)

Thank you for throwing me under the bus,

with limited resources, I have manage to do the impossible.

Actually not yet complete, it far from complete. (almost complete actually)

Looking back, how far have I gotten. Guess I'm doing okay.

(Need to keep the momentum, need to thrive for maximum result)

There are a lot of words to keep my motivation up. Among them is this poster below.

This strike true for me, I believe that it not about the resource. If you are incompetent, you will mess it up even you have sufficient resource. And I'm trying to prove that I'm competent. 

This remind me of Dharma and Greg show where Ed (Greg father in law), who is a successful businessman had retired. Long story short, Dharma requesting Ed to assist on some drag queen clothing company from bankrupt. Surprisingly, Ed managed to do it.(he is very good at management) The one that amaze me is that less than 5 minute Ed in the drag queen office, he manage to come up with many good idea and able to detect the flaw within the company. (not to mention with very experience with drag queen clothing)

Maybe it just a movie, but I wish to be that guy. He able to adapt to any situation and come with solution. It doesn't matter the resources he have, he know how to utilize it efficiently. If we could manage our resources efficiently, we will be better than before. He didn't rely on the resource available, he rely on himself and use the resource to support him. Instead of using the resource as his main source of power.

So the big question now, are you manage your resources efficiently?

p/s : another tips from xkcd, in order to become great at some field is not to try to become great at some field. You become great when you stick to your path to solve the issues and get the job done. You won't realize it until you become great at it.

Starry mood

There is a girl who I felt in love at first sight.

There is a lot of other things that I forget, but I still remember when I saw her

She sitting there, smiled at me, you get the picture.

We are in this on and off relationship..

in very odd relationship.

we both love each other, but at different times, at different places.

it seems like destiny is playing a cruel joke with us.

I don't mind how the destiny had changed you. 

I just wish that you can see past my flaw.

but I'm sorry that I'm not the man who you thought I am.

That man is exist, but he will be fake like plastic. (And I hate that man)

I'm trying to be honest with you. Can you see I'm taking a huge gamble here.

Don't you know that I'll move the mountain if you want to baby.

You have no idea what I'm willing to do for you.

If you could say that you belong to me and ease my mind.

Imagine how the world could be, so very fine.

But let be real here,

I can see the signs but I choose to ignore it

My head keep telling me there's no way this will work

but my heart still want to try for one last time.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life wandering

if I'm not completely screw up my chance

I know that this is not gonna work.

So instead of losing you and burn the bridge.

I choose to salvage what remain here.

If God want us to be together, we will be together.

In the meantime, let have the last supper and let get this over with.

What is the hardest thing to do?

It is to say goodbye to someone you care.

It is to say goodbye to someone you love.

It very hard to say goodbye, but I have to do this.

You are the one that got away.. again.

The one that steal my heart away.. again.

So long and goodbye.. again.

Let hope our path never cross again.

To the girl that taken up so much place in my heart but doesn't know it.

I just hope that one day, you will wake up and realize what you have done

you have miss one hella guy.

Too bad that our egos and prides have cause us this relationship.

P/S : I wish I didn't call her on my first year back to peninsular (when I call her that time, I totally forgot who she was on that period). Or maybe if she didn't pick up the phone. Then I won't need to face this drama. (And now she is the heartache that keep lingering)

New chapter

It been a while since I post anything in this blog.

In case you are wandering, I'm not dead nor I'm in jail or something. It just that I've been busy, very busy, very very busy (doing nothing..hohoho).

Moving forward, you will see lot of posts from me (hopefully). This time it will be something that on my mind, or something on my heart. Maybe some advice, maybe some rant or maybe something inspirational for you. (Who know what the future will be). 

What I'm trying to say is that, this time, there will be no more some copy paste thingy from some website. All will be written from me. (there might be some quote here and there) The main target for these new post is only one. These posts is for you my love.                                          ..................(yeah right)

These post is for my future self. So that I will know what kind of person I am before. It take less than a second for someone to change, so before I change, I will like to mark the existence of my current self where my future self can see it. But if you want to read, read on my dear. 

I believe I'm old and mature enough to have my own idea and opinion. Think of it as warming up and practice before taken up my Master. That right boys and girls, I'm planning to take Master.


p/s : let see how many post will it take until I'm tired of writing these blog entry.